Posted tagged ‘Mark Murphy’

Iron Brewer: Game On!

July 4, 2013

Today I received an email from the organizer of the MBAC Iron Brewer competition: my name had been drawn out of the hat for one of the 11 open spots in this year’s contest. Woo-hoo!

I announced this on the Niagara College Brewmaster Facebook page. Scant minutes later, fellow competitor Mark Murphy posted, “You’re going down, Brown.”

To which I replied, “Bring it, Left Field.” (Mark is co-founder and brewmaster of Left Field Brewery.)

If that seems a bit mild, watch out. As we get closer to September 27, my trash talk will likely descend into the gutter, with comments about his yeast’s asexual proclivities and how his alpha amylase is degenerate. (That’s pretty smashmouth stuff  in the brewing world.)

However, the real competition will begin in two weeks when I pick up my bag of ingredients.

 

 

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Day 577

April 8, 2013

I try to keep my competitive instinct under control, but it tends to surface for things like trivia contests and Rock Band... and chocolate. Our Creative Writing teacher had no idea what she was unleashing when she announced the prize for a quick in-class competition would be chocolate bars.

My vision turned red. MUST EAT CHOCOLATE!

The contest really was quite simple: working in groups of five, we had ten minutes to write the opening lines to a piece of bad genre fiction.

Here’s the thing: I am a grandmaster of bad genre fiction.

Western: The hard sun blazed from the big sky as Dusty rode his deep-chested dun into the small, nameless town in the Sierra Madres, his namesake trail of dust settling on the listless men lounging on benches in front of the saloon as he dismounted. The sheriff stepped out of his office and looked Dusty over with hard eyes, but the cowboy, dog-tired from days on the trail, didn’t stop to talk. Pushing back his white ten-gallon and settling his six-shot hawgs more firmly in their holsters, he strode through the batwing doors of the saloon into the dim interior. Seconds later, shots rang out…

Detective: I looked at the clock on the stained office wall. Although it only read nine a.m., it was probably eleven o’clock somewhere, so I poured myself an eyeopener, then settled back to either read the pile of bills on my desk or contemplate life as a lousy joke. I had just settled on the latter when my next client walked in, a tall cool blonde poured into a tight red dress. “Are you Jimmy Drake the private eye?” she purred, not batting an eye at the open bottle of whiskey. “That’s what the sign on the door says, sister. Drag up a seat and I’ll pour you some breakfast…”

Fantasy: Argalain the Pirate paused as he crested the mountain pass, bewonderment crossing his face at the terrible sight before him. A giant serpent, fangs glistening with black venom, hissed in anger at the unwanted intrusion, the fainting maiden caught within its coils forgotten for the moment. With a cry, Argalain loosed his magical sword Madralin, honed by elvish smiths in the fires of Nithond, and swung it about his head as he charged into battle…

Science Fiction: Argalain the Space Pirate paused as he teleported into the mountain pass, bewonderment crossing his face at the terrible sight before him. A giant serpent, fangs glistening with black venom, hissed in anger at the unwanted intrusion, the fainting fembot caught within its coils forgotten for the moment. With a cry, Argalain activated his laser sword, honed by elvish technicians on the planet Nithond, and swung it about his head as he charged into battle…

You see what I mean. When it comes to bad writing, I can write with the worst of them. The contest was pretty well over before it had begun. Mmmmm, chocolate.

On to Human Resources, where we are finishing up the last few classes with some consideration of union labour laws in Canada.

In Sensory, the various groups presented beers as if the class represented a tasting panel, and gathered information about the various beers tasted. We have a week to collate the results and make a presentation to the class as well as a written report.

Unfortunately the tastings took so long that I had to discard my plan for the evening. Mark Murphy, who graduated from the first Brewmaster class a year ago, has become the very first graduate of the course to start his own brewery. He recently joined forces with his wife to form Left Field Brewing, a contract brewery with cleverly baseball-themed beers like 6-4-3 IPA. Alas, the launch party was in Toronto, and by the time we got out of our final class, it was far too late to make the 150-km trek around Lake Ontario during rush hour.

I’ll just have to wait for another Left Field event and buy two of Mark’s beers.


My Post-Apocalyptic Life

The world has ended, but movies and games live on.

Married to Beer

Seeing the humour in a spouse who loves suds!

Ruminations of a Canadian Geek

The thoughts and ruminations of a university chemistry and roleplaying geek

Madly Off In All Directions

A blog about whatever strikes my fancy...

It's what's on tap...

Brewing, mostly.